Today is National Hamburger Day.
– My day is going medium well.
– A great day to get some extra In-N-Out.
– Or as Vegetarians call it – Friday.

Memorial day is here. Or as Richard Blumenthal calls it – Monday.

President Obama was in the Gulf of Mexico today for a firsthand look at the devastating oil spill. The president stood on the beach and vowed to clean up the mess. He then threw out the ceremonial first tar ball.

Legal experts say criminal charges are likely to be filed over the Gulf oil spill. This means a BP executive could wind up in jail. Prison can be rough so I’ve got three words of advice... British. Petroleum. Jelly.

The 94th running of the Indianapolis 500 is this weekend. Race officials expect record top speeds this year – the pace car is a Toyota.

Did you know this? Lindsay Lohan’s alcohol-monitoring device is called SCRAM. It stand for Secure Continuous Remote Alcohol Monitor. When I first heard Lindsay received a court ordered SCRAM, I got all excited. Unfortunately, turns out, she doesn't have to leave the public eye.

Country music legend Willie Nelson has shocked fans by cutting off his trademark long hair in favor of a new look. The new look... Bieber hair.

Here’s some good news: Violent crime went down last year all across the country. Well sure, in this economy, who can afford ammo?

An 87-year-old man is attempting to break the world pole-vaulting record. The previous record for an 87-year-old... from the floor up into bed.

A sleeping passenger was left on-board a United Airlines plane in Philadelphia for four hours after it landed. Why not, let’s just give the terrorists ideas – sleeper, sleeper cells.