Today is National Teacher Day. Congratulations to all teachers. This is the one day out of the school year when the dog gets to eat their homework.

The suit O.J. Simpson wore on the day he was acquitted of murder is now on display at a museum in Washington, D.C. Which is rather appropriate don’t you think? Washington D.C. is full of suits, committing crimes and getting off.

This is rather sobering news. The Gulf oil spill is so massive, the earth has been downgraded from 2/3 covered in water to only 5/8.

The oil spill is turning into a major disaster for wildlife along the coast. To give you some idea of just how bad it’s gotten, today I saw a sea turtle rubbing turtle wax on his shell.

The world’s oldest person, a woman in Japan, has died a week before her 115th birthday. She died of complications from her lengthy battle with life.

A man has been arrested in connection with Saturday's attempted car bombing. The suspect was captured at JFK boarding a plane out of the country. Authorities were quick to spot him – wearing an “I failed to bomb Times Square and all I got was this lousy T-shirt,” shirt.

Author Christopher Hitchens' memoir, Hitch-22, is due out next month. He claims that President Bill Clinton consumed pot brownies. Well sure... he probably ate them, but did he digest them?

Doctors in China report that a man has died after an eel was inserted into his rectum. The man's friends inserted the live creature as a prank after a night of heavy drinking. Come on, everybody knows, friends don’t let friends drive eels drunk!