Are you watching the World Cup? Every time someone scores I yell “Goal.” My wife says it’s annoying. So… I had the 1-800 flower guy send her a lovely bouquet of vuvuzelas.

According to the Food and Drug Administration, a so called ”female viagra” pill fell short in two studies. In the first study, less than half of the female subjects felt any significant sexual arousal. The second study returned even less encouraging results. Not one experienced an erection lasting over four hours.

A woman in California is building a house completely out of an old Boeing 747 airplane. If you look out the left side of the house you can see the mountains. For those on the right side…

Yesterday, as BP CEO Tony Hayward began his opening statement before congress, a woman disrupted the hearing, yelling, "you need to be charged with a crime." A DUI: Drilling Unwise Idiot.

The American construction worker who went to Pakistan to single-handedly kill Osama bin Laden claims he was obeying an order from God he received in a dream. Today, during a nap, God dropped the name Tony Hayward.

15 million pounds of canned "Spaghetti-Os with Meatballs" are being recalled. When asked to comment, Chef Boyardee said, “Uh-Oh.”

The Lakers won the World Championship last night. After the game Ron Artest thanked his psychiatrist. You know, if his doctor is anything like mine, he’s gonna get billed for that.

Authorities are investigating 40 human heads found on a Southwest Airlines flight. Turns out, it’s all part of Southwest’s “buy one ticket get one bodyless companion ticket” free promotion.