BP CEO Tony Hayward will testify before a congressional panel tomorrow. In preparation, he is being coached by a team of public relations experts. Their advice: Find the elusive Gulf Coast walrus.

President Obama addressed the nation last night. He said “he will make BP pay for the damage they’ve caused.” Oilboarding begins today.

BP has agreed to put $20 billion in an escrow account to pay for damages. Which is good news. Unfortunately, the account is in the National Bank of Greece.

A new survey says that one in six drivers, roughly 15 percent, has had sex while driving. The percentage goes much higher when there is a second person in the car.

In St. Louis, a pet waste removal worker found $58 packed in the dog poop he was cleaning up. Not too shabby, that’s $406 in dog dollars.

There’s a rumor going around the internet that Sarah Palin may have had breast enlargement surgery. And here I thought I would never have two nice things to say about her again.