Today is National Flag Day. To celebrate, Starbucks is giving out free lattes to anyone named Betsy Ross.

There’s a rumor going around the internet that Sarah Palin may have had breast enlargement surgery. Only one breast… she quit half way through.

Jimmy Dean, the sausage king, passed away yesterday. The coroner lists the cause of death as “breakfast.”

Jimmy Dean, the sausage king, passed away yesterday. The coroner lists the cause of death as “Jimmy Dean Sausage.”

World Cup: USA and England tied. 1 - 1. The goalkeeper for England let a routine shot slip through his grasp for USA’s only goal. Finally, a Junk Shot that worked.

World Cup: USA and England tied. 1 - 1. The goalkeeper for England let a routine shot slip through his grasp for USA’s only goal. The British are calling it a Junk Shot.

The Coast Guard has demanded that BP step up its efforts to contain the oil gushing into the Gulf of Mexico. Company CEO Tony Hayward was laughing so hard, oil shot out of his nose.

Over the weekend, BP deployed undersea sensors to better measure the flow of oil into the ocean. Estimates show the Gulf is only one quart low… from being full.

A plumber in Michigan helped his wife deliver their baby boy on the bathroom floor of their home. That’s great news; however, now the man’s plunger is missing.

The number one movie at the box office this weekend was “The Karate Kid.” A remake of the popular 80’s film. This new version is slightly different; the kid still waxes on, but he and Mr. Miyagi wax off together.