A stunning last minute goal at the World Cup handed the United States a 1-0 win over Algeria. I got so excited, I blew my vuvuzela for longer than four hours.

Utah Senator Orin Hatch wants to drug test the unemployed before they can receive government assistance. The Senator is optimistic it will take less than a month to test all the Osmond's.

Afghanistan war commander General Stanley McChrystal met privately with President Obama at the White House today in an effort to save his job. The General apologized for his behavior – then in a surprise move – took off his shoe and dumped out two million dollars in Afgan minerals.

Afghanistan war commander General Stanley McChrystal lost his job today after making comments critical of President Obama. That’s the bad news. The good news? Rolling Stone magazine gave him 24 issues for the price of 12.

Andy Rooney, the 91-year-old veteran news correspondent, says he'll work at "60 Minutes" until he dies. Or until he pulls a Helen Thomas type gaffe, whichever comes first.

Earlier today, BP formally handed over responsibility for the Gulf oil spill operation from Tony Hayward to Bob Dudley. Things are already looking up… Dudley doesn’t own a yacht.

Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer will host a talk show on CNN. However, the show will air on Cinemax.