A former Food Network chef has pled not guilty to charges he hired a couple of homeless men to kill his wife. And this guy calls himself a chef? Look at his recipe for murder – hobo’s.

The White House plans to establish a presidential commission to investigate the oil spill. Their first order of business, get the CEO’s from Halliburton, Transocean and BP to sit down together so we can Tar Balls and Feather them.

Pictures have surfaced showing the newly crowned Miss USA, Rima Fakih, pole dancing in a competition where she too was crowned the winner. One more victory and she will be the first Arab-American to capture the triple crown.

BP says the Gulf oil spill cleanup has cost the company $450 Million so far. $449 million for the failed dome, top-hat and junk shot. One million to come up with some better names.

A United Airlines flight en route from New York to Los Angeles made an emergency landing yesterday due to smoke and fire in the cockpit. Nobody was hurt thanks to the quick response of an alert T-shirt vendor in coach class.

The U.S. Coast Guard says tar balls have been found on the beaches in Florida. Seriously, enough about the people who retire there.

Sarah Palin’s oldest daughter Bristol has signed with a speakers bureau asking between $15,000 to $30,000 per speech. For fifteen grand Bristol will read the speech off her hand. For thirty grand she won’t speak at all.