The American Medical Association says Kentucky Senate candidate Rand Paul is not a board certified doctor. His record indicates he’s board certified crazy.

The American Medical Association says Kentucky Senate candidate Rand Paul is not a board certified doctor. In a related story, all of his Tea Party supporters are board certified crazy.

President Obama is on a two-day trip in the Gulf region to survey the oil spill. He brought the Karate Kid with him to help kick some ass.

President Obama is on a two-day trip in the Gulf region. He’s touring up and down the coast – looking to see where the water used to be.

In a speech yesterday, President Obama promised that "things are going to return to normal" and the Gulf will be in even better shape than before the oil spill. That would be amazing... I can’t even get the oil stain off my garage floor.

Jimmy Dean, the sausage king, passed away over the weekend. In his honor, Denny’s lowered the cost of the Grand Slam breakfast by half.

Did you folks feel the earthquake yesterday? A 5.7 quake rattled Southern California. It turns out, Kirstie Alley slipped and fell. She’s okay though.

Did you folks feel the earthquake yesterday? A 5.7 quake rattled Southern California. If the Lakers don’t win tonight, expect much bigger aftershocks.

Starbucks has announced they will begin offering unlimited free Wi-Fi access in all their stores. That’s the good news. The bad news? It’s decaffeinated Wi-Fi. Very sluggish.